Parenthood is one of the most blessed stages of our life. With the birth of a child, a parent, a nurturer is born. We all enjoy the beautiful moments of our life as parents, but the best one is reliving our childhood. The birth of a child brings several opportunities and blessings for a family and especially for parents. With the arrival of a new one in our family, we get a chance to reflect on our skills and explore new dimensions that we haven’t even imagined were possible.
Upon becoming a parent, I realized an increase in my sense of responsibility and joy. I felt overwhelmed at times, but I learnt the ropes on the go. I took my inspiration from several wonderful parents around me and observed how they nurtured two or three lovely souls with great love and care. On the contrary, I met a few parents trying to discipline their children in a manner that did not resonate with the child. It looked like an influenced way of parenting, possibly learnt from past experiences during their childhood.
Well, for many of us, I guess parenting comes naturally. As we become parents, our instincts kick in, and we know what would be right for our child. But does it guarantee, that we will always make the right move in guiding and disciplining them? NO. And sometimes it backfires, turning our most adorable kid to a rebellious one, teaching us a lesson the hard way! Many of our preconceived notions come from our childhood, the way we have learnt to act under different circumstances. But does the old way of parenting work with our children now?
Think about the last time when you asked your child to clean up the room after play, tidy up their closet, clean the bookshelf, open the door for someone or finish their homework before playing on devices. Did they happily oblige with a grin on their face? If they did, then Congratulations! You have set a child on to the path of success. But in most cases, children will decide to go their way, making choices for themselves, giving opinions and justifying their decisions.
In such cases, do you compare them with their sibling, friends or even with your self as children? Do you start preaching them or sharing your childhood experiences and your behaviors that impressed everyone? In doing so, we think that we are setting an example that they should follow us and become like us. But, the fact is nobody likes to be like someone else or even compared with others! Because we are individual beings with our likes, dislikes, values, preferences and mindset.
In raising our children, even the most sensible parents might sometimes forget that we are dealing with children in a modern era. They are much smarter and advanced than we have been at that age. Our children are tech-savvy, inquisitive and highly informed. Their mindset is a result of the music they listen, the programs they watch, the apps used, the games played, their languages, their friends and so much more. How can we then expect to raise our children in the same way as we grew up decades ago!
Parenting our children need a lot more than just disciplining and knowledge of right and wrong. It requires a lot more than our time and resources. Parenting the children right begins with resilient parents. For children to grow up healthy, happy and resilient with a growth mindset, let us imbibe our family values, tradition, culture and sense of responsibility in them to keep them grounded and connected to the family so they can understand our point of view.
Gone are those days, when we quiet happily accepted the instructions and suggestions made by our parents. But most children now would ask questions and make recommendations for any topic under discussion. If you think that raising your voice to threaten them to get your point across, get homework done or behave in a certain way, will bring you peace; you need to rethink. While it can be a temporary solution that may work for you, but over a short period, you will notice a change in their behavior as they start coping up with the stress by copying your behavior. And as they get immune, they start ignoring your warnings and messages completely.
So, let us not forget to connect with our children before correcting them. Let us try and understand the reason behind a behavior, be patient, and always model our best behavior so they can observe and learn. Let’s amaze them by learning new skills ourselves and always encourage them. Show love, understanding and empathy in our tone and behavior, and mean what we say.
Finally, it is worth reminding ourselves, that we are not just raising our children; we are raising the future leaders, thinkers and innovators who will be a part of the society. Our children will one day grow up to inspire the world and live life on their terms, so why not today. All we need is to teach them to make the right choices for themselves. Let’s bring a change in our perception and nurture them with patience and persistence; this will take our parenting experience to a whole new level and transform our children into a better version of themselves every single day!
